do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
