I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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