I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
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I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
My breasts were aching with rage.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
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You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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