that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
