I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
