i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Randomize
