The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
no more duck duck goose at the bar
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
