this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
