I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
