i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
