Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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