omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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