Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
You pole danced in your parka.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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