I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
