I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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