oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
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