You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
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so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
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I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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