pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
