So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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