the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
