the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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