She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
