you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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