I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
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I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
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I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
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