Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
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