after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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