It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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