Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
