Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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