Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
