I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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