Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
