end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
