sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Randomize
