After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
