im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
