I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
