She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
