i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Less talking, more tequila
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
