Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize