I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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