Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
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she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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