Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
