I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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