Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Redeem this text for a blowjob
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
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