i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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