She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
