you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
