you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
