i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
