i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
