Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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