Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
