It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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