What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
