Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Randomize
