my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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