..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
