look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
