Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
do herpes really smell.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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